@AndrewRannells : Hey @LauraBenanti , want to do a musical? Or get really really drunk?

"Why are they both white?"
"That’s what my friend Keisha asked about you and Daddy.

polople:

do you ever start writing a text post and halfway through you’re just like “nah” 

queue  

itssexualhour:

my bf knows how to sail and stuff so we were going to fuck on a boat so when we sailed out to somewhere isolated we started making out pretty intensely and i kissed his neck and earlobe and whispered “aye aye captain” and he said “i can’t hear you” so i said it again and then he fucking went “oooooooooooooh” and started singing the fucking spongebob theme song i wanted to kill him

Jeremy will be singing at the Rex Sox home game on August 3rd x

darecrow:

Imagine being pregnant in new york

and your husband gets a cab for you and you’re rushing to the hospital when

"wELCOME TO THE CASH CAB"